20 Years of Sadness (or Still Angry after 20 Years)

Last night I saw the Smashing Pumpkins for the fourth time, Billy for the 6th or 7th. It was at the Chicago Theatre, and I entered into it with more than a little trepidation. I was so afraid it would let me down somehow, that the current incarnation of the Pumpkins would not stack up to the original lineup, who I never really got to see. The first and second time I saw them Filter's drummer was sitting in for the rehabbing Jimmy Chamberlin, and the third time Melissa was in for D'Arcy. So when Vinnie and I had dinner at nearby Elephant & Castle and they were playing the Greatest Hits album, my anxiety mounted.

Spoiler alert: they did not disappoint me.

The set list (which I kept wanting to call a running order) was awesome. Going from Siva to Mayonaise to Tonight Tonight...I lost my mind. I loved that they threw in Eye and the surprise favorite song of the night for me, a mesmerizing rendition of The End is the Beginning is the End. The audience turned a little when the encore was a bare performance of We Only Come Out at Night featuring kazoos. I loved it, and I loved that the show ended on Billy getting a little soap-boxy and following through on his promise not to "do what people want" and play another song. Look, it's f-ing Billy Corgan. He's been accused of being a controlling d-bag when it comes to his music and I have all the respect in the world for him to do what he wants onstage. I couldn't believe it when I heard people waiting for the train after the show say "If they had just played two more songs"..."If he hadn't talked so much." Really? How long have you been a Pumpkins fan? The tour is called 20 Years of Sadness...not Reunion Tour of Greatest Hits for Money. Yes, Billy got a bit snarky at the end. And he definitely teased us with the possibility of more music. But that's who he is. If you want to hear a cold set of songs, stay at home and make a playlist. I wanted to see Billy. And I did.

I stole this picture from the internet since I didn't get anything great with my phone...

For the record, Billy came out for the first song wearing this crazy white gown with a giant gold headdress thing. Standard. The rest of the show he wore the above...a long white skirt with a white ZERO t-shirt. He certainly is, as he asserted several times, a heavy metal machine.

Billy's been with me at every twist and turn of my angsty adolescence up through my current angsty young adulthood. SP has been my favorite band since I was 14. My first boyfriend gifted me with Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness as well as the Aeroplane Flies High boxset. When I moved to Chicago I thought, "Hm, maybe I'll see Billy Corgan one day." And less than two months after my move there he was, sitting along the wall in the Second City ETC, about ten people away from me. He's a landmark for me. Last night was no different.

Few things settle into my soul the way these guys do. Thanks, SP.

Thank you, Vinnie, for making sure we got these tickets.

Home in 4 days.