Last week on the first Friday of Lent I was abstaining from meat, as is Catholic tradition. Throughout the day I started to think, "Huh...I wonder if I really need to be eating meat at all." The answer over the last few days has become a clear, "I don't think so." And so I have done what I tend to do with any new idea: jumped in with my clothes on and swam around in it. I've been reading all kinds of vegetarian websites, health info, recipes, etc. I've known vegetarians and Vegans my whole life and have never really understood it. I think I'm beginning to. I will not use my blog to elaborate on the health or environmental benefits of vegetarianism in an effort to inform or convert my 8 faithful readers. As with my religion, I don't believe in outright evangelism, I believe in living your principles. So I'll talk about how I feel, but I take no official position on your eating habits. Yes, you.
That said, this is not about vegetarianism per se. This is about "becoming." It's a big word, in addition to being the title of one of the best two-part season finales in all of TV history. I have been meat-free for almost one week. I've felt compelled to keep people informed of my decision, but at no point have I told anyone, "I'm a vegetarian." I don't feel like I am one. Not yet. We can call ourselves a lot of things. I am a girl. I am a 28 year-old. I am an American of Irish-German descent. Those are finite titles that can be scientifically proven. The phrase "I am" shouldn't be thrown around the way it often is. This is well illustrated in the Spanish language, where there are two separate forms of the verb "to be," ser and estar, one referring to state of being and one referring to properties of being. The English "am" is...broad.
I tell people I'm Catholic, that I'm a Democrat, that I'm a bad flier. The truth is, I practice Catholicism, I'm more aligned with Democratic ideals and sometimes I take valium and fall asleep at my gate and miss a business flight. The tangible act of "being" one thing or another demands long term commitment, unwavering consistency, a binding legal contract or plain old genetic programming. I've only recently started referring to myself as an actor because in the past year I have more times than not gotten paid to do just that. Before I was an actor, I was a contract administrative assistant who practiced the skill of comedic performance. That doesn't sound as cool when you're introducing yourself to someone at a bar.
A woman who has a baby becomes a mother. She becomes a mother through the experience of carrying a child and enduring labor (I am in no way undermining the motherhood of a woman who adopts. She becomes in a different way). A man becomes a father through his interaction with the mother and the child. That's why I always contend that a woman becomes a mother...a man has to earn fatherhood.
My favorite yoga instructor always talks to us at the beginning of class. There is a clear delineation between the instructors at my gym who teach "fitness yoga" and those who teach "spiritual yoga." This particular woman strikes the perfect balance. So she talks to us before class about setting our intention and often she offers some yoga-inspired philosophy. The most striking to me so far was a quote she relayed. So striking in fact that I'm paraphrasing it...but it was something to the effect of "The perfection is in the practice." It is difficult for any of us in our lifetimes to say we've arrived somewhere or finished something or fully become whatever. But we sure do practice.
Each Sunday I practice my Catholic faith. A couple times a week, I practice my improv and acting skills in front of an audience. Now when I eat, I practice vegetarianism. Hopefully in the times between practicing these things, I am becoming them.
TD and KD have a lot of business on their phones.
